Simply Come

I’m thinking. I’m thinking waaaay too much.

I’m thinking of how I can truly surrender in this area of giving. I’m thinking about what it looks like for my current life situation. Do I drop off everything and live in a house in Philadelphia with The Simple Way community, making my own clothes and spending time with homeless? Do I give away everything I own?

One thing I know, no matter what the capacity of this yield to “stuff” and money, there must be one. I’m not exactly sure what it looks like, but it’s kind of beautiful that way. It’s incredible to know I need not lean on my own understanding. He will make straight my paths, our paths in everything as we seek after Him.

This morning, I want to worship. In worship, the dying of my desires and the joy found in His love invites His presence into the atmosphere around me. This morning, I seek after Him, basking in His eternal goodness. Everything else will follow, including grasping how it is I should give.

Fearless

There is this place that my soul finds itself in which I become fearless.

When I am there, I am not concerned about the imperfections on my face, pleasing my superiors, or when I will discover what it is I shall do with my life. In this place, I find tranquility. I am confident that I could be even in a war zone, yet nothing…absolutely nothing could slightly alter the serenity that engulfs like a continuous crashing ocean wave.

Beams of sunlight suddenly burst through the densest clouds. Am I dreaming? I can’t be. I’m not. I can be at my worst possible state. I can be in a most uncomfortable place. Even still, I can arrive at this glorious place.

This place is nowhere else but with my God. False humility crumbles. Insecurity deteriorates. The objects of meaninglessness are out of view. The “scale” of goodness is reevaluated. There is but One thing that can satisfy.

I can depart to this place at any time I desire just as Lucy did to Narnia. Despite what many, including my very mind may often think, I’m not escaping reality. I’m entering reality.

There is a realm that is available to all who seek. If it did not exist, human life would be a dreadful reality. It is for this other place…this Kingdom that I live, endeavor, work, breathe.

This LOVE…

Beer, Squirrels, & Bubble Tea

I’m a nanny and I absolutely love it. If I’m honest, I’ve always wanted to be one. Living in an awesome city. Hanging out with adorable kids. Free room and board. A family who takes me out to eat, adds me to their climbing gym membership, and introduces me to a new craft beer just about every night are sweet perks as well. If all of this isn’t enough, I get to read Where The Wild Things Are three times each day. So, yes, this is my dream job – definitely not forever, but for now, it’s perfect.

It may be glorious, but like any other job, it comes with challenges. And these challenges are more than pushing a stroller up hills or getting a kid to eat their carrots. It’s impossible to measure my current trials against those of my previous jobs, for they’re simply so different. They’re different in that they’re molding my character. As I strive to be a good example and lavish love upon these little girls, I am being challenged in more ways than I thought possible. Patience, consistency, creativity, wisdom, and sacrifice are my prevailing run-ins.

Patience is a given with kids, right? Let’s just say that little people talke longer to put on their shoes and brush their teeth. These girls are teaching me to stop, to embrace the time I have with them, to bask in overlooked gifts that are simply beautiful. When we take walks, we stand under the same massive oak tree for five straight minutes to gaze up at the feisty squirrels scurrying from branch to telephone line to fence. Extensive giggles are a given.

I am learning even more to stand by my word and be consistent. I absolutely have to administer a consequence when it is called for. Just the same, I must have that tea party on Thursday afternoon if I’ve already suggested. Falty lines in either situation result in chaos and confusion.

Oh, how I’m pulling from my creative juices…the small amounts that I actually have! I have to be ready for an eight-hour rainy day inside or a quiet activity while the younger one is napping. I’ve never had to have so much “excitement” up my sleeve. Today is a prime example of keeping on my toes. We took a walk to “storytime” at the library this morning, but it was cancelled. Instead, we headed to the massive playground around the corner, but it was closed for school hours. I then excitedly asked, “Do you guys want to go to St. Elmo’s for hot chocolate?!” Sophie responded, “No, how about bubble tea from Thai Peppers?” Onward. I had somehow forgotten that it was only 10:45 a.m. We waited 15 minutes for the place to open only to find that they had no tapioca pearls. There was a long, cold walk home. More patience ensued with all parties. After lunch, Sophie helped me do some laundry and was more than happy. Thank you, LORD. Maybe I don’t have to be ingenius all the time…

If you’ve ever spent even a few minutes with a kid, you understand that they ask questions…about everything. Sometimes the answers are simple. Other times, they require a bit of consideration. Kids take words to heart! I haven’t yet been presented with, “Where do babies come from?” Still, there are things that catch me off guard. These are good – for their minds and my own. I hope and pray for the wisdom to answer them with grace and truth.

At the end of my day, I reflect upon the questions. I think about what I could have done differently. I wonder how firm and loving I was when they acted out of order. And I realize again through these little girls that He is the only one that can carry me through. He is the one who grants me the fruits of the Spirit, gives me wisdom, and loves through me. Without Him, I could not find satisfaction in this job. I am realizing just how massive His heart really is for His children…both the kids I take care of and myself.

Sophie and Mia -such a joy.

Thanking Him for teaching me in this season and using me to teach these little people who will one day be influencing others.

What’s in a NAME?

I really can’t help it, for it simply happens.

It happens more often than not and I am unable to deny the power…

the power of His Name.

His Spirit consumes me when I hear, say His name. It fills me with such inexpressible joy and awe that my tear ducts begin to fill. Even right now. There is no variation in emotion depending upon where I am or what I’m doing. From a church service or intimate worship time to driving down Rt. 13 or baking up a storm, it’s all the same…vividly exceptional and ever-increasing reverence. Part of me wishes to think it silly for a split second (am I an emotional wreck?), but there’s no denying His consuming fire. I wish I could explain, but then again, I don’t believe that one can convey the phenomenon of the Father’s surpassing glory.

His name encapsulates everything He is.

I am humbled yet again. I am astounded that He would give me such satisfaction and never cease to drench me in His Love. Jesus. He is my Father, Friend, King, Provider, Conqueror, Healer, Savior…

Saang Province, Cambodia Credit: Stephanie May

I began to really think about the Name of the LORD last November while in Asia.

In my tent, I tossed and turned over a question. “How did the resounding of His name hold such magnitude?”

We saw it happen, my teammates and myself. We prayed for people to be healed in the name of Jesus. They were healed. We declared that darkness flee in the name of Jesus. It relinquished and vanished.

The Father’s name…it was repeated. Echoed. Shouted. Proclaimed.

“Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever believes in me will also do the works that I do; and greater works than these will he do, because I am going tot the Father. Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it.”    -John 14:12-14, NIV

His name is LIVING.

I know that there is more “theology” to all of this. There are things that I don’t yet comprehend and may never know. There are more thoughts that I have yet to work out. There are crucial connotations in the Hebrew. I have only touched the surface of Jehovah. I am eager to know more, but for right now, I am enthralled to just BE in His presence. Right now, I find rest in YHWH.

“…God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.”   -Philippians 2:9-11, ESV

May we abandon fear and encounter Him fully. May we crave what He has for us, no matter what it may look like. He so longs to reveal His glory.

Not Too Far Gone

Goodness, I’ll never grasp it. But I believe in it!

I’ve heard it time and again that He will never leave us or forsake us. (Hebrews 13:5) I’ve clung to the vision that His grace is [beyond] sufficient and His power is made perfect in weakness. (2 Corinthians 12:9) I know that we are more than conquerors through Him who [radically] loves us. (Romans 8:37) I believe these things with all of my being. Since I’ve seen them in motion in my life as well as in the lives of thousands of others, I have to believe them. The vast array of scenarios in which these things are played out astounds me.

As I learned of another redemption story this morning, my mind yet again is unable to comprehend His love.

Credit: A Well Traveled Woman

I read a blog from a mutual friend who has had it pretty rough…more awful than most. At an unconceivable age, she was molested by both her uncle and grandfather. In turn, she too mistreated others in this way. From drugs, being sexually abused at a young age, and divorce, her life was seemingly worthless. But she’s far from worthless. Yes, she’s had unruly occurrences and has also performed appalling acts. But somehow, her being is anything but appalling to the Father. She’s experienced His grace and is forever transformed.

There are stories of people in entrapment that I can’t help but reflect upon, both large and small. They are stories of men in prison. A young woman who struggles with her temper. Another young woman battling homosexuality. A little boy who cries over his lies. A pastor who has fallen deep into secret temptation. A mother who allows her adult children to trample over her.

These words are more than an attempt at making you and I feel better about ourselves. It simply can’t be about seeing the faults of others, and eluding that we have at least done things a little better.

We’re distorted human beings…all of us. Horrific things happen to many of us. Every one of us screws up in one sense or another. We never cease to mess things up. I spouted off more than a few smart and unnecessary  comments to my sister this morning (and before church, at that). I’ve been far less than a great friend as of late…keeping to myself and sulking in my circumstances. No, not as bad, but yes…just as bad. Folks often disappoint me and I am confident that I do the same. The scale…we often measure. We must stop measuring. We must stop judging.

People . . .

Credit: Travel The Road

Credit: Astrid Sky

I must be honest…

I’m broken.

Yes, I’m distraught that so many are living in bondage. I’m also in shambles about the lack of love. And I’m not speaking of tolerance or even acts of kindness. I’m talking about that Love that only comes from the Savior, Creator…Yaweh.

I’m sick of the judgement. And I’ve been in on it in the past. I still process through it at times…

There are so many “if’s,” but’s,” and “what if’s” that could maybe be  justified when it comes the states of other people…

He’s a pastor…he shouldn’t be looking at porn.

She should find a more respectable job…even if it means making minimum wage.

How could she scream at her kids in that way?

He keeps falling back on that heroin over and over again.

She has had children with three different guys.

She is so worried about what people think.

These statements are true in many cases. It shouldn’t matter.

Men, women, and children are being redeemed everywhere. These people can be redeemed as well.

I don’t want to be a sympathizing mat that people trample upon. I want to stand up for truth. I don’t want to compromise ungodliness.

I just know that every single person is undeniably loved by their Creator. In fact, the Father loves them just as much as He loves me. The prostitute, the politician, the misfit, yes…and that guy wearing the red polo who was standing behind me in line at World Cafe Live three nights ago. If He loves them as much as He loves me, they’re never too far gone.

After all, grace is a gift…it’s not earned, right? (Ephesians 2:8)

FREEDOM.

We’re desperate for grace, and it’s available. We must capture it and dispel.

And so this is what I’ve been thinking about. I’ve been thinking about people and seeing them in a new Light…the one that the Father casts. I so badly want people to know this Love and walk in freedom…freedom from these things. It’s possible, my friends!

Lastly, here is a video that has encouraged me and enriched my train of thought toward all of this. Credit is due to my awesome brother.

Inspiring Admiration

The title of this newfound blog is Catching August, and I’m about to analyze the meaning…right now…

The meaning of these two words can be one of a few things. Maybe it is profoundly literary. I would like to think that it is. Maybe though, it is only me trying to be of some intelligence. I’ve always thought that my writing contained greater quality than my speaking. Whatever its importance, here are my thoughts behind the phrase…

I like to write about everyday discoveries and intricate topics, but I realize that my desire in life and the crux of anything in which I involve myself must be fully devoted to the splendor of the Heavenly Father. And so, the essence of my writing has to be all about the pursuit of Him.

“So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” -1 Corinthians 10:31

“Chasing God.”

While that phrase by itself  is beyond brilliant in meaning, I had to think of something more, how you say…original.

After a bit of Josh Garrels, flipping through every underlined verse in my Bible, and the ever-invaluable thesaurus.com, I was on to something…

Catching August. 

Allow me to break it down.

I like many of Webster’s definitions of the word, catch…

-to capture or seize especially after pursuit

-to discover unexpectedly

-to obtain through effort

-to take in and retain

-to meet with

-to become fired with enthusiasm

-to become affected by

This seemingly simple word can take on the most multi-faceted significance. It is no longer just red stitches on white leather landing into a Rawlings glove.

Then, there is august…

I must be honest in relaying that I didn’t know the meaning of this term beyond it being the eighth month of the year.

August: inspiring reverence or admiration; of supreme dignity or grandeur; majestic

Fabulous, yes?

And the word August simply sounds beautiful.

It is my aim (through Christ) that this blog would emulate this great pursuit of God. That it would stir the discovery of His supreme grandeur, that it would trigger the encounter of His majesty in the mundane, and that it would inspire myself and others to a greater admiration of the One who holds our every moment.

I must share of some sweet, several moments that I had last night.

I sat, watching as my little sister tried on about twenty different wedding gowns in front of ten panels of mirrors.

She found one, and it’s utterly perfect. She was stunning last night and I know that she will look inconceivably gorgeous on December 29th. My mom and I alternated going in and out of the dressing room, zippering and unzipping the costly dresses. There was Michael Buble playing in the background and billowy white stuff all around. I can only imagine what Lindsay was feeling. She’s really getting married!

After my mom swiped her credit card and the three of us excitedly exited the bridal shop, we drove to our favorite Indian restaurant. To our dismay, it was closed. What else to do but head over to the Charcoal Pit? Yeah, we laughed and chatted with one another and our waitress over french fries and milkshakes at 11:00 pm.

I drove home separately in my family’s little Volkswagen Jetta. My mind was reeling about wedding planning, job prospects, and relationships. My thoughts didn’t last very long until they were reverted.

I soon thought…

“What would I think about if I couldn’t think about God?” Would my thoughts run out? Would I drive myself crazy until I crashed into the sedan in front? Really, what would happen?

I thank Him for just being there with me…all the time.

“You can call my name and I will find you. Heaven and Hell can’t separate our love. I’m doing it all for you, my love. Yeah, I’ll come back for you.” -Josh Garrels

May we always be taking in His majesty, seeing Him in all the details, for He is with us…

Catching August.